Just Imagining!

Just Imagining!

Contrary to a playful and energetic attitude I had at the beginning of the semester in KMLA, I am very exhausted these days. And especially yesterday, the exhaustion was at its peak. Having slept too little the day before because of the presentations and quizzes I had this week, I wasn't feeling too well. I didn't want to talk to anyone, and I was in some kind of a half-sleep state all day. On top of all this, I had this anxiety that I was doing poorly in every class and quiz. Maybe this anxiety tired me. Or the fatigue in me induced the anxiety. I don’t know which came first, but one thing I knew for sure was that this anxiety was driving me crazy.

This is a brief list on things that caused the anxiety; I messed up my presentation in the Korean class. I was caught drowning in Chinese class. I probably got the base score in Mr. Menard’s TOEFL essay. I also messed up the speech I made in Mr. Menard’s class. I flunked my math quiz. I couldn't understand anything in the SAT biology class. There was just too much homework for the ‘Introduction to English Literature’ class. And there were quizzes I had to prepare, biology, English literature, French, and in addition to these, I had a linguistic Olympiad to prepare for.

I couldn't concentrate. I couldn't think straight. I just couldn't. So when I came to the dormitory after all the classes, I told my roommate that I was miserable; that I probably flunked all the quizzes and presentations. But what my roommate told me changed my feelings completely. He said, “Nah~ You’re just imagining. Shut up and come look at this funny picture”.

At first I was bemused. I am in this miserable state, and all he tells me is that I’m just imagining, so come look at that stupid picture? But then, something hit me; I was just imagining things. Yes, I was just imagining things. I thought about my worries again. I found out that most of them were not ‘facts’. I found out that all those worries could start with the word, ‘probably’.

After this split second thinking, I completely came back to my usual self; Optimistic, cheerful, etc. I could think straight, and I organized the things I had to do. I convinced myself that the past is past and what really mattered was the ‘present’.

Um… Now this essay kind of turned into some kind of a ‘personal narrative speech’, which I did not intend to do, and I am beginning to think that I could have done a much better job on Mr. Menard’s class if I had talked about this topic, instead of the weird museum story that I talked about. However, as I said before, past is past. Enjoy your pleasant future. : )